Vulnerable

I just can't believe it is Thursday already and I haven't posted.

Vulnerable

This word has taken  a great deal of thinking about.

 

I feel my ME/ CFS has made me feel vulnerable as I cannot go anywhere without having a back up plan in case I can't get myself home. Usually it is Roland taking me and picking me up. I used to be so independent.

Apart from that I felt much more vulnerable with feelings when I was younger. Now I just don't care what people say or do about me. If it is too bad I just don't have anything to do with that person again.

I wore glasses from when I started school at 4. They always made me feel vulnerable (speccy four eyes springs to mind) but I was also vulnerable when I didn't wear them as I could and can only see shadows unless something is almost touching my nose. I suppose if they were made when I was younger I would have worn contact lenses.

My first marriage made me vulnerable as I was not respected or considered by my first husband and made to think all the problems were my fault.

Going into hospital makes me feel vulnerable as I like to be in control and that doesn't happen there.

I'm sure there are more things but I feel that is enough.

This is an extract from Annes post
 

What do you do when you feel vulnerable, what do you eat, what do you say, how do you dress, whom do you talk to, what do you avoid doing, what do you do much more ?

Do you dress in bright colors, do you go clubbing, do you hibernate, do you go for long walks, do you cuddle your Teddy in your PJs all day, do you read a book, do you raid your local supermarket for chocolate, do you look at yourself in a mirror and do faces ?

We all have our own small things we do to try and feel better and I would like we share them with each other, as we never have too many ways of trying to feel better, do we ?

And here is what I do

I bake and the other day I realised my mum used to do the same when she felt cross, worried or generally at odds with the world.
There is something satisfying in bringing a cake or pastry out of the oven and it makes me feel a great deal better.
I often hibernate as I find comfort in the warmth of my bed and I read, losing myself in a fantasy takes all cares away.
I find crafting is not an option when I feel vulnerable as things tend to go wrong for me and make me feel worse.
I now get my hair done every week but it used to help when I felt vulnerable - changing styles and colour made me feel great. Don't do the changing so often now.
Unfortunately I eat - anything sweet especially chocolate. I try to restrict sweet things but a bit of really dark chocolate does wonders for the ego.
Seeing the grandchildren and great grandchildren is another remedy.
There is nothing like a god conversation and laugh with little ones especially when you don't have the responsibility of them.

On Wednesday Jo and I went to the cinema to see "The Croods". We had a great time with a huge tub of popcorn and a drink (mine was a costa coffee)
He is a real love and couldn't help reminding me his birthday is in 2 weeks time.